Before the first strike, there’s a bow.
Discipline isn’t a technique—it’s a habit.
Every now and then-more often than I’d like-I’ll correct someone’s stance, their strike, the way they hold their structure or chamber their fist, and they’ll say something like: “Yeah, I’m trying to break the habit.”
You’re not.
Because here’s the truth: if you’ve never trained it before, it’s not a habit.
It’s a tendency.
And that’s not just semantics. That’s everything.
The Story of Ted’s Hips
I had a student-let’s call him Ted-who trained with me for over a year. Consistent. Early to class. Asked good questions. But he had one ongoing issue:
His hips were always off.
In Wing Chun, hip positioning isn’t optional-it’s foundational. When your hips are out of alignment, your structure collapses. Your power leaks. Your body becomes two disconnected halves instead of one cohesive engine.
Week after week, I adjusted Ted’s stance. Showed him the proper mechanics. Explained why it mattered.
For about twenty seconds, he’d get it.
Then I’d walk away, look back-and there he was again: back to his default. Butt out. Hips misaligned. Same story.
“Ted, hips.”
“Oh, right.”
Adjust. Revert. Repeat.
One day after class, Ted came up to me looking defeated.
“I just can’t break this habit. It doesn’t feel right when I do it the way you show me.”
And that’s when I said what he needed to hear:
“Training isn’t about what feels right. It’s about rewiring what feels right.”
His body wasn’t broken. His pattern was just untrained. But instead of leaning into that discomfort and building a new pattern, Ted started building a defense.
“Maybe this is just how my body is built.”
That’s when I realized:
He wasn’t fighting a habit.
He was protecting a tendency.
And his ego had quietly decided to defend it instead of fix it.
Eventually-after 14 months-Ted quit.
“I think I need to find a style that works better with my natural body mechanics.”
What he really meant:
“I want to train somewhere I won’t be challenged to change.”
Tendencies Are Default Behaviors
A tendency is what your body does when it’s never been trained otherwise. It’s not efficient. It’s not refined. It’s just what you’ve always done-how you stand, how you move, how you react under pressure.
It’s your baseline, not your blueprint.
It’s not something you built.
It’s just what’s there.
Habits Are Built. Repeated. Reinforced.
A habit, by definition, is a trained response.
It’s built through repetition with intention.
Psychologically, habits are formed through the loop of:
- Cue → Routine → Reward
Neurologically, they’re stored in the basal ganglia-the part of the brain responsible for automatic actions.
Unless you’ve thrown the wrong punch thousands of times-under pressure-you don’t have a habit.
You have a tendency that’s never been corrected.
Why People Say “Habit” Anyway
Because it sounds better.
Saying “I have a habit” makes it feel like it’s not your fault.
It sounds deep. Fixed. Like it’s something that happened to you.
But that’s a psychological shield. It’s a way to protect the familiar-even when the familiar is broken.
It’s easier to say “I’m stuck in a habit” than it is to admit:
“I’ve never actually trained this properly.”
What Happens to the Teds of the World
Students like Ted don’t fail because they’re incapable.
They fail because they refuse to feel uncomfortable long enough to change.
And that’s the core truth:
Familiar doesn’t mean functional. It just means untrained.
They bail. Not because the art doesn’t fit-but because discipline doesn’t flatter their ego.
And you know what? That’s okay. Their absence clears space for the students who are ready to grow.
Drop the Shield. Own the Fix.
If you came to train, then train.
Don’t hide behind the wrong words.
Don’t give your untrained tendencies more power than they deserve.
Tendencies aren’t hardwired. They’re just familiar.
And that’s good news-because it means they’re easy to replace.
All it takes is:
- Reps.
- Guidance.
- Humility.
- And the willingness to feel awkward until it clicks.
That’s how habits are forged.
Beyond the Dojo: Tendencies vs. Habits in Real Life
This isn’t just a martial arts thing.
We all have “Teds” in our work, relationships, health, and creative pursuits. People who mistake untrained behavior for unchangeable identity.
Let’s look at a few examples:
Fitness
- Tendency: Slouching at the desk, poor posture during squats.
- Habit (Desired): Engaging the core and maintaining spinal alignment.
- Like Ted, some people think they “just can’t squat right”-but it’s not how they’re built. It’s how they’ve never trained.
Work & Productivity
- Tendency: Checking emails first thing, derailing your day.
- Habit (Desired): Starting the day with deep, focused work before distractions.
- They say, “It’s just how I work.” No-it’s how you avoid focus. And that’s a tendency, not a habit.
Communication & Relationships
- Tendency: Reacting defensively when criticized.
- Habit (Desired): Listening, pausing, and responding with clarity.
- People say “I’m just wired like this.” You’re not. You just never rewired it.
Creative or Skill-Based Learning
- Tendency: Playing an instrument sloppily but comfortably.
- Habit (Desired): Repeating proper technique until it becomes natural.
- Comfort isn’t the goal. Mastery is.
The Universal Principle
Whether it’s in a dojo, a gym, a boardroom, or a kitchen-your default isn’t destiny.
You’re not stuck. You’re just untrained.
And the second you realize that, you get your power back.
So Here’s the Deal:
Stop calling your defaults “habits” when they’re just tendencies.
Stop pretending you’re stuck when the truth is-you haven’t trained it yet.
You’re not here to protect old patterns.
You’re here to build better ones
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About the Author
Dale Steigerwald is a seasoned educator, martial artist, and performance coach with over 20 years of teaching experience and nearly three decades of training in Ving Tsun Kung Fu. As the head instructor at the Academy of Ving Tsun Kung Fu, Dale is known for blending traditional martial arts with modern principles of biomechanics, psychology, and athletic development.
He holds a certification in Brian Cain’s Mental Performance Mastery (MPM) system, equipping him with elite-level tools to help students build focus, resilience, and mental discipline—on and off the mat.
Dale is a lifelong learner, currently working toward his EXOS Performance Specialist (XPS) certification and preparing to sit for the Certified Strength and Conditioning Specialist (CSCS) exam in August. His mission is to bridge the gap between ancient wisdom and modern science, helping individuals unlock their potential through purposeful training, mindset mastery, and personal integrity.
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